Tuesday, June 7, 2022

Terror in the Old Fell Forest

https://www.drivethrurpg.com/product/398450/Terror-in-the-Old-Fell-Forest 




You all meet in a a loud and smokey tavern! It's a sad time for the quaint village of Valehaven. For the bawdy son of the portly mayor and his foppish and foolish friends have went missing. The foolish group of young adventurers went North into the Old Fell Forest some two weeks ago. They sadly and alarmingly have not returned. Dark and ominous tales are whispered about the foul Old Forest.

Adventurers have come forth to see if they can help, kill stuff, make some gold and get XP!

The party is hired by the portly mayor to find out the whereabouts of a foolish group of adventurers far to the north into the Old Forest. The mayor Miles Kaxzwell is a pale fat balding winy self righteous type of man who truly believes himself far superior to others as he is of noble blood! 



His "son" and his adventuring party of his friends, left a few weeks ago and nothing has been heard from them since. The people of Valehaven don't seem to be sad at all. 


Blurb

Just an old school gamer with a computer, scratch paper, pencils and pens who writes trashy little pulp old school zines so don't expect any high production values or high literature. I like to add in the old Folk Horror aspects form old movies as well. Especially the late 60s to early 70s Folk Horror movies where there were no heroes and everyone sucked!

Thursday, May 26, 2022

The Insane Death Pit of the Sadistic Trapmaster!

 MY NEWEST TRASHY ZINE MODULE!


Finally an adventure that actually challenges an adventuring party! You don’t get wimpy a** hand holding, players need to always win type of modules from Eldrad Wolfsbane! You get NOTHING handed to you!

NOTHING!

Down Deep into The Insane Death Pit of the Sadistic Trapmaster!


This Level 1-5 Zine Module will show the stinking maggot players that life isn't fair. If lower level adventurer trash, then hire a bunch of worthless expendable retainers! Hell, no matter what, hire some fodder! Remember morale rolls to see who is a stinking coward! Not that they can probably climb back out without dying! LOL! It also teaches one that you can't be a lazy scum and have anything without hard work and risk mixed with being a dumba**!



Every player that has their 3D6 rolled in order no cheating ass character survive this adventure on a live play video will get a genuine Certificate of Survival!



It's PWYW and made by my inner 12 year old back in 1982!




Sunday, May 1, 2022


DIE! DIE! DIE! PIG ORC!


  DIE DIE DIE PIG ORC 


Die! Die! DIE! Pig Orc! Back to the Dungeon Zine for OSR Games! This is an OSR B/X Legacy Zine mixed with some Advanced.



The kingdoms of the Northwestern Lands have fallen and the wars have been lost! MAN, ELF, DWARF and HALFLING are on the run or are waiting for THEIR DOOM!


Gnolls from the northeast!


Piece of SHIT Gnolls!


Fuck Gnolls!


Goblin's, Hobgoblins and Bugbears from the East!


Killing! Snorting! Raping!


Goblinoid FUCKS! We hate them!


Fleasheaters! They kill and eat the women and children! They even eat the babies!


The ROTTEN Undead from the Southeast!


That ROTTEN Undead! That SMELL!


In the Kingdoms of the East, Mankind is being wiped out!







The Southwestern lands have the chasm one must pass!



The Chasmfort saves us all for it cannot be taken!


Beyond the chasm, it is safe!


From there, wandering!


The Middle Lands are full! The Empire to the south has fallen as well! Go west! Nobody wants us here! True grief and sadness!


Rumors of the farthest southwestern settlement.


One can take the trail or the sea!


The High Forest!


HIGHHILL Town!



This place is being flooded by the desperate refugees fleeing from their lands and is quickly becoming crowded. Every day, add 1d100 people.


Now there are rumors that the Pig Orcs have came out of the ground to the Southwest and now are plaguing this land so say the Rangers. Ever growing in numbers! The rangers killed many but there are around 30 or so, getting a base ready!



There is no other place to go!

There is one thing we must do!



Make them DIE!


DIE! DIE! DIE! PIG ORC!







Monday, April 4, 2022

Gaming: I just don't know anymore...

While at our local Con this weekend, I was trying to run a good game of 5E D&D and well sheeet it went half way well and it went bad. I have been looking for this for two years now as the pandemic has ruined so many things. Last year we had over 40 hours of gaming planned before cancellation so the local FB Gaming Group was gun shy to plan ANYTHING!


Well anyway back to my one game! Had a pretty diverse group of different people all cool, we had the little girl who turned out to be almost 30 and was beginning to try and transition to a male who dropped F Bombs like a sailor until she(or he) caught a snap was playing a Bard and a fantastic player, the  early 20s average Joe gamer who was playing an anime monk also good, an elf eared early 20s who was obviously endeared with the transgender towards doom was playing a warforged fighter also alright, a totally cool new gamer dude from Houston who looked like a black male model was playing a ranger, and then there was the "Special" mother fucker.

He has always been around the gaming community, slow and obviously handicapped and since I have seen his post and he writes very intelligently, I think he was just being and asshole. I try and be kind to all people but my tolerance and love for humankind is obviously decreasing every minute of life.

He gamed with us at the Con two years ago and instead of just taking a pregen, he built a goddamn character on his App on his tablet. He wasted about 10-20 minutes and I really didn't know how to handle him as this was my first time running a game at a Con.

Now two years later, here he is and mother fucker he is loud!  He has a premade character. It's a "pukeymon" 5E fire hybrid an it has +10,000 damage to it's attacks. And he tries to insist on using it. He says hold on I can modify it which is rude as I have a tablefull waiting. I tell him we are starting and he can't use that, pick a 3rd level pregen out.

He then, like the last time wanted to transfer it to his goddamn app. I tell him, "Dude a few years ago you took too much time to transfer the character to the app, just use the sheet provided as it's a one shot" take a sheet, we have people here at the table wanting to play." I could see the table was somewhat getting uncomfortable. He took a Dragon Fighter who promptly jumped off into the pit and fell to his death taking 58 points of damage. He kept saying, I land like this! Trying to demonstrate a football type land. "Yeah dude, your body is busted all over the ground! LOL!


Where I totally fucked up is I had told all the players that there would be prisoner areas to get new characters if the one that had died. He picked the Dragonborn Fighter again...sigh. I told him your tied up so hold on. He rudely proceeded to try and explain his dumbass Pukeymon Dragonborn for a 5E build over and over. Everytime I explained I didn't know about WTF he was talking about and we have a table full of people wanting to play, get with me later on this.

I don't know or care if you believe in energy drainers, but this mother fucker was doing just that. All my excitement and joy for these last two years was totally drained post game. A sadness and disappointment set in.

I could see he was also triggering the lil trans girl to boy as well.

I had the tell him more that once we have a game going on that has nothing to do with his retard Pukeymon Dragonborn build as he spouted out different Japanese phrases for weapons and characters that I told him I didn't know or recognize any of those...

Over all the game seemed to go kinda well despite Pukeymon's interruptions but soon as there was a break, half the table bolted as the module couldn't be finished due to the interruptions. I QUICKLY FINISHED UP and I walked around drained.

I had such high hopes as this was the only game I was running. Two years since there has been a Con. Everything just timed itself but where I didn't even get to play and RPGs myself.

Sunday, the final day of the Con I had been waiting 2 years for, I just didn't even go.

I am going to have to STOP being so nice to fucked up people, even if they are special. This dude was also a major energy drainer as well as the nerd energy I had absorbed was now gone. I will never let him game with me again.

I also am never running 5E at a Con again as I have a shitton of my own publications to run. I guess my old ass cannot keep up with the playerside rules anymore.

BUT THERE'S MORE...

So my online Cyberpunk 2020 game I was playing in also got screwed up a week or so ago up by a asshole SJW Finnish or whatever Kittyboy who was supposed to be a Rockerboy. One of the worst most fucked up players I have ever seen. He totally fucked up and ruined a very long running game. He wasn't there to game but to destroy and did he ever. The game master had just stopped posting ANYTHING after that disaster of a game.

I have tried not to get involved in the whole political stuff in my games and just play, but many of these people are there to only spread discontent and  destruction. If you're running or playing in a game with an SJW, wipe out his character as soon as possible and make (insert pronouns) feel unwelcome. Gatekeep the FUCK out of these fruit loops. A game with a YEARS long storyline, ruined in one session and then on the RP Boards he completely buried any lingering life...

Well FML! Shit like this just makes a mother fucker want to stop gaming but that's what I am, a gamer and I always will (TRY) keep the flame a going...

P.S. I actually had a brainstorm to mix DUNGEONPUNK RPG with my 3 attribute system calles MAW (Might Action and Weird)! The Karma system works perfectly for the Attributes split 3 ways.