Sunday, September 24, 2017

REPOST! Raven's Keep Gazette and Rumormonger

  Raven's Keep Gazette and Rumormonger 


DID you hear the news? 

to the 
Raven's Keep Adventuring Society!
Secret Campaign Information
titillate the players!


My Campaign Letter to prove that I am trying to run a good game. 

Deep down gaming blues... Steppin Back PII

In the LAST depressing post about gaming life was not too good. I went through a creative phase with a rules light variant to everything called DUNGEONPUNK RPG but that excitement has waned as well. It's just a hard concept to write down it seems...I did get a surprising response but some nameless person one starred me. At least say why you think it sucks that bad... BUT anyway...

I get back into a creative mode for Back to the Dungeon RPG and start having ideas flow. Things keep coming to me. Then when I go to get my BttDRPG folder, it was simply gone. Not just kinda I set it somewhere there it is! NO! I mean it's now to the level of a paranormal event gone. I mean WTF where the hell is it gone! 

I have looked every possible logical place I could have put it. I have looked into every possible illogical place I could have put it. I have looked for an entire month.

With the lack of response from my players and the entire universe making sure I can't game, no one would have or could have stolen it. I have much of it electronic but there are papers that cannot be redone from their moment of inspiration that are now lost.

None of that matters anyway as my attempts to create an ongoing campaign that actually allows characters to grow instead of game jumping and much to long sessions of making new characters for the next cool game continues it's onslaught.

The new group of players I pulled together for BttDRPG have slowly started the "hey I got this game we can try!" while the universe from the other direction foils any and all plans of gaming.

One of the chosen people that I chose for his game mastering skill surprisingly didn't even want to join my campaign vision YET he complains of game switching.  

None of these people actually have more than five sessions of any one game. I have heard that three games is the average fro this little group. Piles of characters siting around. Now it is a part of my group. Meh! 

There are groups out there actually developing their characters and actually having campaigns. I can't really try and rudely barge in with my vision.

SO if you are actually having life workout where you can actually get gaming to happen AND you actually have a campaign going, savor it. Some of us are watching life go by and can't do anything about it.     

Sunday, September 10, 2017

Saturday, August 26, 2017

Yet Another DUNGEONPUNK RPG MANIFESTO  (an early Draft)

Yet Another DUNGEONPUNK RPG MANIFESTO  an early Draft
Saw this Dungeonpunk Manefesto and Dungeonpunk counter manefesto. Yeah no. Let me make mine and see what people think...

1. Violence is the answer to most questions, next is talking about it and thinking.

2. The world is only there to make you a victim and take everything from you so screw the world!

3. You must take what you want and fight to keep it, just not die over it.

4. Humanoids and Demons are inherently evil and must be killed before they kill you and destroy everything you value.

5. Foul unnatural beast are mostly evil and must be killed before they kill you.

6. The nobility for the most part are selfish evil and don't care about the lower class people and will use you without care.

7. The church is corrupt and only cares about power and gold.

8. The lower class does not stick together as most people are out for themselves and will do what they must to survive.

9. The party is the only family most of you have but a family member can still betray you.

10. Make sure that you always have a plan of escape, especially when you are in a "safe" place.

11. Those who do not make every effort to survive no matter what, will die as no one deserves to live.

12. A true friend is rare and yet still may betray you.

13. There are no true friends, only people who have not been made the right offer to sell you out.

14. There is no "safe" space and the longer you stay the more unsafe it becomes.

15. Cultist are the worst of enemies as they have no problem killing themselves to kill you and everyone around and they have no limits on how screwed up they can be.

16. Most of the gods don't care and if you do contact a god then most likely it just wants to eat you.

17. Live life, party, and have good times while you can because either you will die or grow to old and then die.

18. Always get vengeance when you can but also know when to run away so you can get vengeance later.

19. The undead suck.

Tuesday, August 15, 2017

MASSIVE SALES OF DUNGEONPUNK RPG! and an attack by The Holy Zion Southern Women's Baptist Association!



I have set all sales records!

I am trying to sell 1.5 million copies!


I GOT ATTACKED BY NONE OTHER THAN MARY JO HEISZENFRO from The Holy Zion Southern Baptist Women's Association! 

This wackadoo believes that DUNGEONPUNK RPG is a tool of Satan as well as the internet. 

Turns out one of her member's adult child had a copy of my game and was caught naked with it! 

Turns out her and her group were kicked out of their church and went out and made their own. 

What's funny is her and her cronies because they don't use the internet have harassed the people that live at my old address!  

Like showing up at 3 in the morning in their choir robes signing hymns! 

People thought they were the Klan and shot at them!  

All I can say is!!!

Total Hysterical Ignorant Stupid 
Stupid Total Orgasmic Rudementry Yellow 
Imbecilic Silly 
Nauseating Oblong Titular  
Truly Rude Unsung Enigmatic!    


Sunday, August 6, 2017

The first four books of Back to the Dungeon RPG are now Pay What You Want!

The first four books of Back to the Dungeon RPG are now Pay What You Want! 

Please enjoy! 

IF you do then send me a few bucks IF you can.

Hardcover compilation coming one day!

Sunday, July 23, 2017

Excerpts From Punkinberg

Excerpts From Punkinberg 
the up and coming


NOTE: You the Game Master are now on your own on what the numbers are needed to roll. Make up a difficulty from 1 to 20 and see if they beat that number or just let them roll and interpret by how well they roll. You can also roll dice against dice and see how that goes. Just wing it. Give the example characters weapons as needed. Add more detail as needed.

One giant rotten stinking city state built upon layers of foul ancient ruins is Punkinberg. It sits upon atop a great mountain spire with high walls and a precarious road that one could drop off to the sharp rocks below. Once a small outpost, it grew into a vertical city and a kingdom. It's castles and noble districts glowing like a beacon into the night. It's the midway in a trade route so it's always full of out of towners. It also has an inland dock on a freshwater sea that has another nation across from it.

The Lord Mayor Rufus Malthus of House Malthus runs the city. He is a large fat heavily perfumed but still smells of shit and sweat type of guy. He has a huge greasy head of curly hair and has fancy clothing and white makeup. He is 35 years old. He has many piercings and quite a few pieces of jewelry as well as a silver grill. He is playing all sides and will do anything to keep in power. The Mayor controls the Town Guard and the Sheriff. Destiny 4

The Sheriff Gibby Sun is a little red haired man with a sick attitude. He is 45 years old. He has stabbed his way to the top of the Town Guard and became Sheriff and is stuck up the ass of the Lord Mayor. He is always in his fine chainmail and carries his magical sword Punkslayer and his magical shield Reflectoir. He has his “special” group of mercenary DUNGEONPUNKs he calls the Sun Dogs. They all wear some sort of bright gold tabbard with a sun symbol on the front and back. He has control of the Town Guard as well. Destiny 8

The King Reginald McManus of House McManus is a dashing tall man with long blonde hair. He is tattooed from head to toe with pictures from ancient tales. He normally walks around bare chested with white leather pants and high boots, dragging his family sword Goonkiller in one hand and a bottle in the other. He is 37 years old. He tries to hold onto power but his father left the royal house with too many enemies. Characters that do heroic things shall gain his attention. Destiny 12

The Prince X McManus of House McManus is a spitting image of his father just better looking. Yes his name is just X. He is 15 years old. He cares not for this life and yearns to be free of it all because the prince has no clue and has no knowledge of how shitty the world really is. The prince is stupid. Destiny 3

The Earl Markus Rothchild of House Rothchild is an old DUNGEONPUNK with a purple Mohawk and fine purple garb. His pale skin is accented by dark purple lipstick. He has many silver piercings and jewelry. He makes claim to the throne as his uncle was next in line but killed in childhood, SO thus the crown should have gone to him but he was imprisoned. He has his Rothschilds in their purple tabbards working as muscle for him. Destiny 8

Lord Dorfus of House Dorfus is a Nobleman who worked his way up the ladder as a former slave Bureaucrat in various positions. He is small, bald, and fair as he is a eunuch. He is always very well dressed and surrounded by his 10 or so other little men who are eunuchs as well. He is very knowledgeable in heraldry and everyone of the movers and shakers from high to low in Punkinberg. If you want to know something then talk to him. Destiny 5

Earl Contentious of House Contentious is a minor noble who has aspirations of gaining the throne. He is old and wrinkled with a white mass of hair that looks like a lions mane. He has many piercings and jewelry of silver. He is pretty much a low noble and is terribly in debt. He is vile and evil and is know as a total worm by everyone. He is a drug addict, alcoholic, thief, murder, and liar. He is famous for beating up his child servants for just sheer evil pleasure. In fact he makes a show of it at dinner parties that are not attended by any Noble with any face. His dinner parties are a great place to meet really bad people, cultist, and devil worshipers from the Low side of the city.

Lord Blackfire of House Blackfire is a sharply dressed nobleman with long black hair and beard. He wears leather and jeweled garb and carries a sword stolen from conquest. He is rumored to be a Warlock and devil worshiper. The rumor is true. He does not care if he burns down the world as long as he helps it burn. His tabbard is black leather with an eye on the chest. Destiny 8

The Bishop Isadorous of the State Church of the Fire God is always immaculately dressed in his robes and likes the young men as he always has one at his side. He always has hair and makeup like a weird old woman. He vies for power playing all sides sides and has the power of the State Church backing him with his Red Guard. He is a Healer of great power with a Destiny of 8.

The foreign Prophet Rasputin of the Church of the Mountain God has black robes and long wild deadlocked hair and beard. He is a healer of great power. He tries to incite the people for revolution with his soldiers he calls the Dreadlocks. Destiny 8

Garducci is a foreign diplomat. His two trusted men that accompany him are Porcellini and Bartolinni. They were weird fancy foreigner clothing with lots of jewelry and are heavily perfumed. Their public face is very sociable and kind. They are always throwing charity events for the poor. The Diplomats try and turn everyone against each other by planting rumors and framing up anyone they can. They plan on the Prince marrying their Foreign Princess and will have any rivals assassinated. They all have a Destiny of 6.

The Foreign Princess Nikita Polarmo is a beautiful girl with long black hair. She is sporting a left black eye. She wears Gothic medieval style. She is only 15 years old. She has been trained since birth by the King and Queen Polarmo to get what she wants at any cost and will do anything to marry the Prince. They will then assassinate him and take over the country. She will kill anyone in her way. She is so evil that she tends to kill at least ten or so servants a week. She always has a supply of fresh servants to torture and kill. Her servants are always looking down and show evidence of torture but are also immaculately dressed. She is smart enough to keep this evil side a secret. She has learned to use magic items and may have a few powerful ones. Destiny 5

The Escaped Foreign Servant Girl Mikki has been marked for capture, not death. That will come at the hands of the Foreign Princess Nikita! It appears this servant girl punched the Princess in the eye and escaped with her life when she was being choked out. She is 18 years old. Destiny 2

The Nobles families play all sides vying for position. Almost all nobles are cruel and evil. They will try and kill each other to move up in power. Make up different Noble families to add to these. 

The rest of the city will be detailed but left open for customization.