Thursday, February 13, 2020

Reevaluating My RPG Gamer (NON) Life


After the 4E Apocalypse and the OSR

Well my old group from back in 2006-2009, well some of the people started to suck and make it not so fun anymore. We we're glad to have a new game due to our collapsed 3.5 game raped by a rules lawyer bastard and a weak ass too nice of a DM (Me)! Also 4E was starting to suck and not really be fun anymore as well and it was time to disband the group.
A profound disregard for my suggestions of trying other RPGs because they had spent money on books while sitting in my $5000+ Meade Hall with $20,000+ in game books.

A void in gaming! Working out of town. Chaos! It all fell apart. People got lots of criticisms, and wants but can they run the game?

Well my wife bought a copy of Mathfinder and with a few of the select non sucky people we tried that. My out of town job started to interfere as Mathfinder is a lot of work. A perfect system but too much system. I just didn't have time to set the game up. Tried to switch over to Labyrinth Lord as the Dungeon was originally written for that but the group said hell no and so I pulled the plug on that one.

DAMN so much time has went by! 

While all this was going on I read over and over the complaints about the old systems but the love of the simplicity across the OSR blogs and forums. I kept seeing the same complaints so I went to make the perfect neoclone hybrid. The simple D20 mechanics and options mixed with the old school simplicity. I gave body and soul as working turnarounds took all my time but also late at night and on weekends gave me time to create and write with unlimited access to computers and printers and so I wrote. Back to the Dungeon RPG came out well but I was always dissatisfied. I released it back in 2012 then to my dismay the announcement of the new 5E came out. I thought damn I got bad timing but I have worked so hard on Back to the Dungeon RPG. The OSR is going to eat this up, a perfect merging of the Old and New school styles playing at the same table. Totally easy to run and tell stories! Then I noticed something worse than being rejected, no reaction.

A Small Start with BttDRPPG

I didn't give up, 5E wasn't coming out until 2014 (on my Birthday) so I could carve me a little piece of the market. I started chugging out supplements and modules. I stopped giving it away and put it on DriveThruRPG and actually got a few responses and sales as well as a stellar review. My style is primitive old zine style because some of us old people don't know how to edit documents like a boss. 

Still it never took off but I knew some local Game Masters so I was going to fill the pre 5E void with a local scene.  Mostly it was going to really kick ass and be totally fun to do! A giant collaboration of people all creating one gaming world! There was this huge void in the area of gaming as in campaigns starting and dying all over the area. My timing would be perfect, giant organized gaming on a local scale! 5E came out but I had momentum..


BttDRPPG the Local Scene Dream that Became a Nightmare.
To my amazement none of the stuck in the mud turd GMs didn't even attempt to even read my rules or collaborate. I explained this Grand vision of a local gaming scene as well as multiple Game Masters collaboration of Homebrew settings.  A few of them only played the old stuff or didn't want to learn another system even though mine was 15 minutes or so to learn. I did get some of them to play and the adventures flowed, only through me. Got tired of running shit, wanted to play. But as usual my new job killed everything.

As a side note, two of those GMs actually asked me to "take a look at or help me write and publish a game" but that's a different story. Shortened version, none of them even barely got their games written cuz "man writing an RPG iz hard!" Yeah no shit Sherlock.

Jobfuck and Gamedeath

The old job was taking up all my time and through betrayal and the company being done with me after using me all up I got laid off. The new job killed all free time as well as shit breaking down at my house, as well as my Meade Hall being filled with various people's crap because we were supposed to move, so no gaming space! Back to the Dungeon adventures flowed but got farther a fewer in-between. I decided to retire my BttDRPG as it just got too hard to try and put it out there. I was a little black and white zine compared to a full colored behemoth.

5E came out and I saw a very robust community out there and all my BttDRPPG gaming had came to a stop. Well I started messing with 5E because hell, nobody was digging my brand and it was surprisingly much better that I initially read.  We started gaming in my cramped ass living room but as if on cue my stupid job starts working soul raping amounts of hours and kills all my gaming once again. 

What sucked is my 5E games went really incredibly well and they were really fun but that fucking soul raping malignant job made sure gaming was ruined! Other than at the local con I have not gamed in almost 10 months and life sucks.  I am not doing it anymore in my cramped ass living room muddy shithole outside along with 3 dogs and I don't have anywhere else to put the crap stuffed in my Meade Hall as well as a few other reasons..

Termites and the Great Awakening

One thing I did have was a collection, a legendary gaming collection. But looking at systems other than 5E that had been sitting around for 20+ years it was time to maybe sell them. I decided to first sell all my 3.5 RPG books for like half the cover price. Got the deal set up. Guy on his way to meet me. I pull some of the books and one falls the fuck apart as termite shit and filth falls out instead of pages of the goddamn book. Like half the fucking books eaten by foul little asshole termites. Went through the wall and just to my huge collection of 3.5 books! I already am overworked and at a breaking point so I flip the fuck out and spray the fuck out of the wall with termite spray. Took a huge loss on my sale price.

I check around that shelf and it appears they only went after those books. I was wrong.

I made a deal with a pretty cool Pathfinder player and had all my books sold that were on an entirely different shelf. Most of the books were in very good to perfect condition, that was until those books were also eaten and I had to take a huge loss on the price.

Fuck it. I just don't give a fuck about collecting anything anymore. 

A (not so) Great Awakening! 

Sold my Cyberpunk 2020 and all my AD&D collection for less than half price before those God forsaken termites ate those. They also got into the 4E books but who cares. Still got some more to sell but my job schedule is starting to resuck. Hopefully a new position with SOME free time is on its way. I have tried to move stuff around in my Meade Hall and it's maybe going to become usable soon. I am going to add an outside bathroom as well.

Can't get no Satisfaction!

I still had my writing and publishing once in awhile. That's one release I can do to get some kind of gaming related activities in but it seems I can't even do that. I am not getting the reaction I want from my RPG projects other than it's kinda good, but what about a play report? Has anyone played any of my modules after all these years? Did they delve deep in the Black Stairs? No play report s anywhere. I am slowly realizing that I am playing music nobody wants to hear. Total waste of time if it's for nothing.  I will try and finish some of my projects, MAYBE bit it's time to change gears.  Worst of all is I don't have my creative space anymore and if I have to burn or throw my family's crap that they decided to store in my building, I will.

Back to the Basics, Fuck the World!

I am not going to be typing up any of my new projects anymore with the anticipation of selling them. I am going back to my old gaming roots. All on paper, scratchy drawings and maps on graph paper. All hand written dice rolled stuff. I am just going to create stuff for my own personal games. I may still in the future try and start the Adventurer's Guild Unlimited (My idea for an "unofficial" organized play like AL) but I will be concentrating on the fun of creating once again. 

Got a few "open" projects to finish but maybe I will and maybe I won't...

I am anticipating a new position where I will have this free time soon. I have looked back at my life and for the last 10-12 years I have worked too much. 


I will also be moving, getting a trailer, or building another house and setting myself up for a life of ease amongst the trees, drinking spirits, cooking exotic meals, gardening, rolling dice and gaming...



  1. Sorry to hear you had to go through so much soul sucking work hours! Ugh! I’ve decided a long time ago that publishing and marketing my stuff was not for me so luckily I was able to kill that dream before it led me astray. Back to running my own campaigns, with notes, on paper, and scrawled maps!

    1. I just got to get my Meade Hall back which I will as soon as I build a timber framed barn.

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  2. Dude, I feel your pain! Looking back at my publishing efforts, I can honestly say two games are making me a little money, while all the others were just a lot of work with almost no reward.

    I'm done with professional attitude in gaming, too.

    Good luck to you, man!

  3. Thanks for the kind words, also I love your blog and work and have bought some of it. The old primordial 2d6 style of gaming is something that I will be trying to get started as well.

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  4. I just put all of my "The Ruined World" projects asleep and on the back burner. I will be concentrating on my Waterdeep: The Eastwall Inn and Adventuring Company.

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