Friday, May 7, 2010

The Ancient Ways of the Grain Goddess

The Ancient Ways of the Grain Goddess

As written by Celenoious the Sage from the university of Raven's Keep.

Let's face it the religion of the Grain Goddess Keres whose spiritual leader is Shel-Elene (the ugly Baroness of Raven's Keep) is not a very good deal for worshipers. First of all many a young maiden is expected to have relations with the male hierarchy of the church set up by her husband the Baron Strah-Kahar.

He being the Lord and Savior of the Temple of the Horseman God, know in other parts as Kerne the Hunter, Mal the Slayer of Invaders, and Tyre God of War. Only fellow nobles are allowed to be Horsemen and worship in his temple.

All who are filthy foreigners and not of the ever dying Hattir blood. They are the filthy stinking Mastdellian race whose symbol is a Mastodon when the feel not putting up the raven.

The religion is supported to keep the baron's wife busy with silly intrigues all set up by the Baron to keep his ugly fat ignorant wife occupied. Tis sinister as they practice many lotteries that end up in death by stoning, drowning, stabbing, and poly-morphing if not even more sinister things.

Wort of all is the Wicker Man! Woe to ye who are the victim and fool of this ritual!

The baroness conveniently tries to kill any of the baron's other mistresses, slaves, and whores to keep her place that she soon knows will be taken away if she be not ever vigilant, treacherous, and militant.

The baron usually cares not as there are many stirges in a cave as he always says. He also says there are many goblins, kobolds, hobgoblins, and orcs to stab in the dark! Oh what a sense of humor our leader has.

The the worship of the Grain Goddess Keres is a filthy foreigner religion that is slowly taking over raven's Keep as the Mastdellian filth keeps moving in.

They are trying to breed us out as the Baron and the Nobles have the right of First Night with our brides.

They shall one day push the people and we shall have enough!

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